Hello, dear readers. Your fearless blogger is coming to you from Atlanta, waiting on the last leg of her trip to Fort Smith, Arkansas.
Let me tell you - this has been The Trip from Hell.
How, you ask? Well, it all started with an 8 hour delay on my Tel Aviv to Philadelphia flight. The crew was delayed and then had a required rest period on the ground in Israel. No worries. I waited at home with Yagel, then I took the bus (wifi included!) to the airport, waited in a never-ending line to check in since everyone's connections were jacked. I got rescheduled quickly and was on my way. The flight itself was one of the nicest international flights I've been on. I got into Philly and tried to get on an earlier flight to Arkansas, but they wanted an arm and a leg to change, so I hunkered down for the wait.
And I waited. And waited. And waited. My flight was delayed due to weather, and they finally put us on the plane, but we sat on the runway for two hours. I was refused a blanket when I asked since they're "only for first class passengers" although I was freezing! We deplaned due to weather and regulations and then were very quickly pushed back on the plane. Only to wait another two hours. By this time, it's 1am, no flight to Arkansas exists at this hour, and I'm informed that since it is a weather delay, American Airlines wouldn't pay for a hotel or even food. Keep in mind that at this point, I've been traveling for almost 30 hours, I haven't eaten lunch or dinner, and nothing is open. I felt miserable and had to put up a fight to be reassigned to Delta so I wouldn't have to suffer anymore AA.
I felt relief as 430am rolled around, and I headed to my new Delta gate. Only to find out that I hadn't been fully booked on the flight and that there weren't any seats left. Only by the grace of God did one person not show up, and I squeaked on. Now, one more hour, and I will board my flight that goes directly to my hometown instead of flying into a bigger airport and driving. My bag won't make it to Fort Smith, but it'll be forwarded on to me. After this long nightmare, I could care less about the bag. I need a mommy and daddy hug, food, a shower, and sleep. Forty-one hours and counting. Fifty, if you count the initial delay. It's insane.
And with that said, my head and my heart are constantly back in Israel. I also constantly react as if I've heard a siren, still not used to being in a country not at war. Odd. So, here's counting to hours to being reunited with the parents, and counting down the days until Yagel will be with me. Lots more to write, just no energy for it now. We'll talk again in Arkansas!
Monday, July 28, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Day 17 - Utter Confusion
The last two days have been a whirlwind. So, let's catch up.
Tuesday, I used my morning, before work at 2:30pm, to run errands. I've been scared to leave the house without a car, but I really needed to go get a replacement Israeli ID (no clue where mine is). We live quite close to the Ministry of the Interior, so I just walked there. That nice, yet strong, morning desert sun, that clean smell in the air, and that all too familiar fear of being stuck outside for rockets. But I was determined to hold my head high and go about my day normally. And I did...while constantly on the lookout for where to hide.
Friends, I am SO SICK of constantly having to think of where to run. I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm stretched to my limit, and I'm not even in a community close to Gaza where I only have 15 seconds. I have a minute, but that is only one minute to SAVE MY LIFE. I just don't know if I have the energy for it anymore.
Anyway, I applied for my new ID, and then I pushed my bike to the repair shop because I had a major flat. Then I rode my bike home. Somehow, I guess I thought we would go the day without rocket attacks. You get this false sense of security whenever things are quiet for a bit too long, and you forget what is going on, and then you snap back to reality. That moment when you snap back is one of the most disconcerting feelings ever. You suddenly remember, "Oh shit, I'm in a war zone, and I need to be on my toes. How was I not paying attention this whole time?!" And that's how it went, plus or minus, the whole day until I got to work.
I parked my bike, and I walked inside. My friend walked in before me and told the security guard that he needed to check me extra good because, "You know what Americans usually carry..." The guard laughed and told me, sarcastically, that I had a really good friend. So, we continue on, laughing and me lightly punching her in the arm, and then, there's a siren. My first thought was thank the sweet lord that I am not on that bicycle still. Second thought, okay, it's started again. And so the day progressed. More sirens. Dinner with three super lovely friends was interrupted twice by rockets. They live in an upstairs apartment attached to a house, so they have access to the house's bomb shelter. Down the outside steps we went, dog in the arms of my friend's husband, and into the house. I had no idea where to go, and suddenly, we are inside the landlords' house, and the lady is super sweet, directing us to the bomb shelter. We all squeeze in, five from upstairs, the dog, landlords and their adult son, sopping wet with just a towel between him and us. Awkward, but such is life.
The night air was clear, and we could hear sirens from the next city. We could hear the bombing and the fighting in Gaza. And it was so surreal...and sad...and terrifying. Which is how most days are now.
Yesterday, more sirens. Yagel got stuck twice in the car with the dog trying to buy our sweet puppy food. He had to park the car and bolt into a building with dog in tow (or was Yagel in tow? I'm not sure). His nerves were shot yesterday after that. I was in English lessons with two brothers, and my heart just broke watching them run frantically to the shelter. And we're both still exhausted from the late night bombings two nights ago.
On top of all of this, the FAA decided to ban all flights to and from Israel, and afterwards, many European carriers followed suit. For now, the ban is lifted, so I should be able to fly Saturday, but who knows. And now, my dad's surgery is postponed. Why? I'm not sure. So, essentially, Yagel and I are flying separately for now reason. If I fly. Does anyone else want to throw anything else into the mix to make my head a little more muddled?
And all of this while reading some of the most biased, uninformed, incorrect news stories, posts, and thoughts from people so far removed from this situation. It's not black and white. It's not simple. It's not Israel the aggressor and Gaza the pitiful. It's a nasty mix of innocent civilians everywhere being targeted by a terror organization, and a small country doing its best to defend itself and its civilians. There's an amazing blog here by Eitan Chitayat, an Israeli citizen, that I recommend all to read. I want to take two passages from his blog and post them here, because they sum it up so well:
"...we’re mass murderers? My country accepts an Egyptian-proposed Gaza cease-fire twice and Hamas keeps firing away. They aim rockets at civilians while we go at great lengths to avoid civilians actually calling them in their areas and dropping warning charges, to give innocents a chance to escape. That’s unprecedented in warfare history. We leave Gaza for a chance at peace 9 years ago and for 9 years we got rockets, hate education, underground tunnels built with the purpose of entering Israeli territory so radicals can murder and kidnap Jews? This is what we get for leaving Gaza unilaterally 9 years ago. And we’re mass murderers?"
Tuesday, I used my morning, before work at 2:30pm, to run errands. I've been scared to leave the house without a car, but I really needed to go get a replacement Israeli ID (no clue where mine is). We live quite close to the Ministry of the Interior, so I just walked there. That nice, yet strong, morning desert sun, that clean smell in the air, and that all too familiar fear of being stuck outside for rockets. But I was determined to hold my head high and go about my day normally. And I did...while constantly on the lookout for where to hide.
Friends, I am SO SICK of constantly having to think of where to run. I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm stretched to my limit, and I'm not even in a community close to Gaza where I only have 15 seconds. I have a minute, but that is only one minute to SAVE MY LIFE. I just don't know if I have the energy for it anymore.
Anyway, I applied for my new ID, and then I pushed my bike to the repair shop because I had a major flat. Then I rode my bike home. Somehow, I guess I thought we would go the day without rocket attacks. You get this false sense of security whenever things are quiet for a bit too long, and you forget what is going on, and then you snap back to reality. That moment when you snap back is one of the most disconcerting feelings ever. You suddenly remember, "Oh shit, I'm in a war zone, and I need to be on my toes. How was I not paying attention this whole time?!" And that's how it went, plus or minus, the whole day until I got to work.
I parked my bike, and I walked inside. My friend walked in before me and told the security guard that he needed to check me extra good because, "You know what Americans usually carry..." The guard laughed and told me, sarcastically, that I had a really good friend. So, we continue on, laughing and me lightly punching her in the arm, and then, there's a siren. My first thought was thank the sweet lord that I am not on that bicycle still. Second thought, okay, it's started again. And so the day progressed. More sirens. Dinner with three super lovely friends was interrupted twice by rockets. They live in an upstairs apartment attached to a house, so they have access to the house's bomb shelter. Down the outside steps we went, dog in the arms of my friend's husband, and into the house. I had no idea where to go, and suddenly, we are inside the landlords' house, and the lady is super sweet, directing us to the bomb shelter. We all squeeze in, five from upstairs, the dog, landlords and their adult son, sopping wet with just a towel between him and us. Awkward, but such is life.
The night air was clear, and we could hear sirens from the next city. We could hear the bombing and the fighting in Gaza. And it was so surreal...and sad...and terrifying. Which is how most days are now.
Yesterday, more sirens. Yagel got stuck twice in the car with the dog trying to buy our sweet puppy food. He had to park the car and bolt into a building with dog in tow (or was Yagel in tow? I'm not sure). His nerves were shot yesterday after that. I was in English lessons with two brothers, and my heart just broke watching them run frantically to the shelter. And we're both still exhausted from the late night bombings two nights ago.
On top of all of this, the FAA decided to ban all flights to and from Israel, and afterwards, many European carriers followed suit. For now, the ban is lifted, so I should be able to fly Saturday, but who knows. And now, my dad's surgery is postponed. Why? I'm not sure. So, essentially, Yagel and I are flying separately for now reason. If I fly. Does anyone else want to throw anything else into the mix to make my head a little more muddled?
And all of this while reading some of the most biased, uninformed, incorrect news stories, posts, and thoughts from people so far removed from this situation. It's not black and white. It's not simple. It's not Israel the aggressor and Gaza the pitiful. It's a nasty mix of innocent civilians everywhere being targeted by a terror organization, and a small country doing its best to defend itself and its civilians. There's an amazing blog here by Eitan Chitayat, an Israeli citizen, that I recommend all to read. I want to take two passages from his blog and post them here, because they sum it up so well:
"...we’re mass murderers? My country accepts an Egyptian-proposed Gaza cease-fire twice and Hamas keeps firing away. They aim rockets at civilians while we go at great lengths to avoid civilians actually calling them in their areas and dropping warning charges, to give innocents a chance to escape. That’s unprecedented in warfare history. We leave Gaza for a chance at peace 9 years ago and for 9 years we got rockets, hate education, underground tunnels built with the purpose of entering Israeli territory so radicals can murder and kidnap Jews? This is what we get for leaving Gaza unilaterally 9 years ago. And we’re mass murderers?"
Monday, July 21, 2014
Day 14 - The Sounds of War
A lot has developed since I last wrote. I'll be honest - with all the emotions, it has been very hard to sit down and write, and even now as I'm doing it, I'm having to force myself to keep writing. Thursday evening, Israel invaded Gaza on the ground after, again, Hamas broke a *humanitarian* ceasefire. The goal of this ground invasion is to uncover and neutralize the terror tunnels that wind their way into Israel from Gaza. Since the beginning of this operation, we've seen random terrorists pop up in Israeli territory, guns waving, ready to ambush and kill. We had no idea how intricate those tunnels were. Israel has uncovered more than 34 intricate, concrete lined tunnels that connect an entire underground Gaza. These tunnels are tall enough to walk through comfortably and are reinforced with concrete slabs. The IDF has found weapons of all kinds, even drugs and handcuffs that would be used to kidnap Israeli soldiers or civilians as a bargaining chip. These tunnels have gone so far into Israel that some even open up in kibbutzim, next to where people live. Let all of that sink in for a moment.
Friends, that's 9 years of Hamas being in charge of Gaza. Nine years of billions of dollars of aid, humanitarian aid (including concrete with which to build), and nine years to amass a stockpile of weapons and rockets from their dear friends in the Middle East. We do not have a built and secure Gaza. We have a rundown Gaza where rockets are hidden in schools, hospitals, mosques, and private homes. I'm sure you're not reading about that in the news. I'm sure no one is bringing up how absolutely insane and unheard of this terrain is. No one has ever fought a war like this. No country IN THE WORLD lives like Israel does, constantly scared of the next terrorist infiltrator who will try to blow up buses or murder anyone in their way, scared of the next round of rockets that will have us all scattering to bomb shelters, constantly bracing for the next wave of criticism from people who do not know what the hell they're talking about (the UN, the media, ignorant folk who hear an ounce of the story and think they know it all).
This is what has me so emotional. No one understands what is happening. I don't even understand what is happening. It tears my heart apart that so many innocent people are dying, and now so many young soldiers, as well. For what? Because Hamas, the cowardly, evil beings that they are, has embattled and conquered a people, implanted their war amongst the innocents, and continues to operate for the sole purpose of removing Israel from the map. How does anyone deal with that?
While I am critical of Israel, I stand behind her 100%. This can't keep going on. We can't keep living like this. Anti-tank missiles being shot from a house window that killed 7 soldiers. Houses booby trapped with explosives. ROCKETS IN SCHOOLS AND PLAYGROUNDS. And people who are too scared to leave, too tired to leave, too frustrated to leave, too numb to leave. I'm so angry at this whole situation. As I said on Facebook, fuck you, Hamas. If anyone is looking to point fingers, all roads lead to those evil, cowardly bastards.
Sounds of war? Rocket sirens that have caught my boyfriend in his car twice in less than 24 hours. Loud booms that interrupt my English lessons. Helicopters flying over head, surely with the wounded and dead soldiers pouring out of Gaza. What is Hamas doing for its wounded and dead? They asked for another humanitarian ceasefire yesterday, and again, they broke it. It was just for two fucking hours! What has Israel done? In the midst of all this, Israel has built a field hospital next to the heaviest fighting to CARE FOR THE PALESTINIANS. On top of all that Israel does to care for its citizens.
The country is united in mourning, holding its breath to see what will happen next. So many of my friends have had their boyfriends called to reserve duty. They're sitting on the Gaza border, waiting for orders. Other friends have been recruited to take over jobs to free up more soldiers. At least four people from work are in miluim (Israeli reserves), with many more to be called, we're sure. My boyfriend's brother is an officer, and we're just praying that he doesn't get reassigned from his current position.
School is on hold. We haven't even finished our finals, and it doesn't seem as if we will anytime soon. Work is empty and hours are limited. People's kids are cooped up inside all day, when they should be enjoying their summer vacation. We're constantly on the lookout of where to run if there is a rocket attack. Every second. How weird is it to constantly ask your boyfriend, "Hey, where do we run?" But that's what's happening. On edge. Angry. Confused. Stretched to the limit. All of that, and I'm trying to finish things up and leave the country for my father's surgery. I'm a zombie-like mess. Scared to leave my boyfriend and friends in this situation. Scared for my father's health. Scared to fly by myself. Scared of what will be when I return.
That's what is going on in my head. Sorry if it's all over the place.
Am Yisrael Chai.
Friends, that's 9 years of Hamas being in charge of Gaza. Nine years of billions of dollars of aid, humanitarian aid (including concrete with which to build), and nine years to amass a stockpile of weapons and rockets from their dear friends in the Middle East. We do not have a built and secure Gaza. We have a rundown Gaza where rockets are hidden in schools, hospitals, mosques, and private homes. I'm sure you're not reading about that in the news. I'm sure no one is bringing up how absolutely insane and unheard of this terrain is. No one has ever fought a war like this. No country IN THE WORLD lives like Israel does, constantly scared of the next terrorist infiltrator who will try to blow up buses or murder anyone in their way, scared of the next round of rockets that will have us all scattering to bomb shelters, constantly bracing for the next wave of criticism from people who do not know what the hell they're talking about (the UN, the media, ignorant folk who hear an ounce of the story and think they know it all).
This is what has me so emotional. No one understands what is happening. I don't even understand what is happening. It tears my heart apart that so many innocent people are dying, and now so many young soldiers, as well. For what? Because Hamas, the cowardly, evil beings that they are, has embattled and conquered a people, implanted their war amongst the innocents, and continues to operate for the sole purpose of removing Israel from the map. How does anyone deal with that?
While I am critical of Israel, I stand behind her 100%. This can't keep going on. We can't keep living like this. Anti-tank missiles being shot from a house window that killed 7 soldiers. Houses booby trapped with explosives. ROCKETS IN SCHOOLS AND PLAYGROUNDS. And people who are too scared to leave, too tired to leave, too frustrated to leave, too numb to leave. I'm so angry at this whole situation. As I said on Facebook, fuck you, Hamas. If anyone is looking to point fingers, all roads lead to those evil, cowardly bastards.
Sounds of war? Rocket sirens that have caught my boyfriend in his car twice in less than 24 hours. Loud booms that interrupt my English lessons. Helicopters flying over head, surely with the wounded and dead soldiers pouring out of Gaza. What is Hamas doing for its wounded and dead? They asked for another humanitarian ceasefire yesterday, and again, they broke it. It was just for two fucking hours! What has Israel done? In the midst of all this, Israel has built a field hospital next to the heaviest fighting to CARE FOR THE PALESTINIANS. On top of all that Israel does to care for its citizens.
The country is united in mourning, holding its breath to see what will happen next. So many of my friends have had their boyfriends called to reserve duty. They're sitting on the Gaza border, waiting for orders. Other friends have been recruited to take over jobs to free up more soldiers. At least four people from work are in miluim (Israeli reserves), with many more to be called, we're sure. My boyfriend's brother is an officer, and we're just praying that he doesn't get reassigned from his current position.
School is on hold. We haven't even finished our finals, and it doesn't seem as if we will anytime soon. Work is empty and hours are limited. People's kids are cooped up inside all day, when they should be enjoying their summer vacation. We're constantly on the lookout of where to run if there is a rocket attack. Every second. How weird is it to constantly ask your boyfriend, "Hey, where do we run?" But that's what's happening. On edge. Angry. Confused. Stretched to the limit. All of that, and I'm trying to finish things up and leave the country for my father's surgery. I'm a zombie-like mess. Scared to leave my boyfriend and friends in this situation. Scared for my father's health. Scared to fly by myself. Scared of what will be when I return.
That's what is going on in my head. Sorry if it's all over the place.
Am Yisrael Chai.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Pictures of Rocket Fire from Gaza
In case you were questioning whether rocket fire really does come from civilian areas in Gaza, here's some photographic evidence. The beginning points of these rockets look to be smack in the middle of a city. The majority of these are from Gaza City and can be found on the Times of Israel website.
Day 9 - Back to the "Norm"
Well, we are still at war. What happened with that ceasefire yesterday? It was brokered by Egypt, and while Israel honored the ceasefire from 9am until 3pm, Hamas did not at all. They rejected it, and it's come out that part of this rejection is because they didn't get the full story from Egypt. Who knows why. End of story, we do not have a ceasefire, rockets are still flying, and we are back to the routine of war, i.e. summer camps are still closed, shopping centers are closing early, and a lot of people are not going to work at all.
Which reminds me of a story that I must share with you from last evening at work. I've discussed this, I work at a large clothing store here in Be'er Sheva. Dealing with Israeli customers requires a special kind of patience, and while I have learned a lot (my Hebrew has gotten spectacular!), I'm turning quite confrontational and assertive...in Hebrew. So, what happened yesterday? The fireworks had started (I thought there was a siren earlier in the evening when there wasn't, and I sent people to the bomb shelter...whoops), and another siren came to greet us. I locked up everything I needed to and started for the shelter. Then, I see three women just casually going about their shopping experience, trying on clothes in the fitting room. I explain to them that there is a siren and that they need to come now. How did they answer? No, no, we'll just stay here and keep trying on clothes. Seriously? What did I tell you? I answered, maybe you didn't understand but you can't stay here and you need to come now! No, no, we're fineeeee. Ladies, we don't have time for this...let's go NOW. And very, very, veeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyyy slowly, they sauntered to the bomb shelter. In my LIFE, I've never seen such self-centered behavior. Why in the world do I want to put my life in danger while you continue on your fun? So, please, Israeli public, during this trying and dangerous time, LISTEN to instructions from those around you. I fear for the next customer who does not listen to me...
So, where does that leave us? That leaves us still in the middle of a confusing and scary conflict. Sadly, Israeli had its first death due to rocket fire yesterday, a father who was bringing food and water to the soldiers stationed on the border with Gaza. Rocket attacks are striking in houses and schools and in cities with more accuracy. I'm not sure if this is accuracy or if after so many rockets, the statistical average increases the possibility of direct hits.
We are all shaken. I see that on people's faces. I hear it in people's voices. We're just not here. My poor dog barks wildly at the rockets, thinking, I guess, that he can catch them or that he's protecting us from them. Israel has even changed the sound of ambulance and police sirens to not resemble that of rocket sirens in order to not cause more panic in the public.
What is going on here? I'm feeling more incoherent by the minute, and unfortunately for me, I have three papers to write and a lot of business to wrap up before I fly to the States in a week and a half. The stress of my father's upcoming surgery is weighing on me, as he is the most special man in this world, and I love him with every inch of my being. I am such a lucky girl for having the parents that I do.
This stress is compounded by the news that I got from my doctor yesterday. I have been checking out my back because of extreme back pain recently (it's been on going for about three years), and I started physical therapy two weeks ago. I also did a simple x-ray on Monday and the results show that because of trauma to a disc in my lower back, two vertebrae are bone to bone rubbing together. I'm making an emergency appointment today with an orthopedic specialist in order to get a clear diagnosis and treatment plan. Not fun. And my doctor ordered me not to run, ride a bicycle, bend, jump, stand for a long period of time, lift things...etc. and etc. That means not even running for a bomb shelter until I know what is going on, since after my running episodes last week, I was incapacitated by pain. That adds a different aspect to my time outside, knowing that running is not an option. I'm not looking forward to laying on the ground and covering my head.
Wow...a ton of rockets were just sent to Tel Aviv. Wonder when our turn is today? That's all for now. I've got to try to write these papers! Have a safe day, friends.
Which reminds me of a story that I must share with you from last evening at work. I've discussed this, I work at a large clothing store here in Be'er Sheva. Dealing with Israeli customers requires a special kind of patience, and while I have learned a lot (my Hebrew has gotten spectacular!), I'm turning quite confrontational and assertive...in Hebrew. So, what happened yesterday? The fireworks had started (I thought there was a siren earlier in the evening when there wasn't, and I sent people to the bomb shelter...whoops), and another siren came to greet us. I locked up everything I needed to and started for the shelter. Then, I see three women just casually going about their shopping experience, trying on clothes in the fitting room. I explain to them that there is a siren and that they need to come now. How did they answer? No, no, we'll just stay here and keep trying on clothes. Seriously? What did I tell you? I answered, maybe you didn't understand but you can't stay here and you need to come now! No, no, we're fineeeee. Ladies, we don't have time for this...let's go NOW. And very, very, veeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyyy slowly, they sauntered to the bomb shelter. In my LIFE, I've never seen such self-centered behavior. Why in the world do I want to put my life in danger while you continue on your fun? So, please, Israeli public, during this trying and dangerous time, LISTEN to instructions from those around you. I fear for the next customer who does not listen to me...
So, where does that leave us? That leaves us still in the middle of a confusing and scary conflict. Sadly, Israeli had its first death due to rocket fire yesterday, a father who was bringing food and water to the soldiers stationed on the border with Gaza. Rocket attacks are striking in houses and schools and in cities with more accuracy. I'm not sure if this is accuracy or if after so many rockets, the statistical average increases the possibility of direct hits.
We are all shaken. I see that on people's faces. I hear it in people's voices. We're just not here. My poor dog barks wildly at the rockets, thinking, I guess, that he can catch them or that he's protecting us from them. Israel has even changed the sound of ambulance and police sirens to not resemble that of rocket sirens in order to not cause more panic in the public.
What is going on here? I'm feeling more incoherent by the minute, and unfortunately for me, I have three papers to write and a lot of business to wrap up before I fly to the States in a week and a half. The stress of my father's upcoming surgery is weighing on me, as he is the most special man in this world, and I love him with every inch of my being. I am such a lucky girl for having the parents that I do.
This stress is compounded by the news that I got from my doctor yesterday. I have been checking out my back because of extreme back pain recently (it's been on going for about three years), and I started physical therapy two weeks ago. I also did a simple x-ray on Monday and the results show that because of trauma to a disc in my lower back, two vertebrae are bone to bone rubbing together. I'm making an emergency appointment today with an orthopedic specialist in order to get a clear diagnosis and treatment plan. Not fun. And my doctor ordered me not to run, ride a bicycle, bend, jump, stand for a long period of time, lift things...etc. and etc. That means not even running for a bomb shelter until I know what is going on, since after my running episodes last week, I was incapacitated by pain. That adds a different aspect to my time outside, knowing that running is not an option. I'm not looking forward to laying on the ground and covering my head.
Wow...a ton of rockets were just sent to Tel Aviv. Wonder when our turn is today? That's all for now. I've got to try to write these papers! Have a safe day, friends.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Day 8 - Possible Ceasefire?
In about 7 minutes, we are supposed to find out if Hamas and Israel both agree to a ceasefire proposed by Egypt. Who knows if the sides will agree. And if they do, won't this whole horrible nightmare just be repeated in about a year and a half? That's what happened last time. I don't know what to think about it all.
So, while we are waiting to find out what will happen, I wanted to share with you some of the pictures that I took along this operation, now in its 8th day. A lot of them are pictures of headlines that struck me as...wow.
So, while we are waiting to find out what will happen, I wanted to share with you some of the pictures that I took along this operation, now in its 8th day. A lot of them are pictures of headlines that struck me as...wow.
The middle headline is super interesting: "Hamas to Beersheba 'settlers': Run before it's too late." Lol no one wants to live in the middle of the desert...we just built an oasis here that everyone is envious of ;)
This was the news on the afternoon of the first day of this chaos.
This is a very true statement - we were terrified, and that's how Hamas works. They play with your sanity, which is the goal of terror. This is from the second day, July 9th.
This is the community bomb shelter behind my apartment. I was interested to see the door unlocked and open. There are lights inside, and the shelter goes down about three flights of stairs to be very much under the ground.
The temporary potty in the bomb shelter at work. I didn't see any toilet paper around.
Girlfriends at work. No one was shopping, no one was at the mall. And we were just quivering waiting on the next siren. Had to have some fun.
Attack after attack after attack.
Planning our walks with the dog to be close to bomb shelters. We plotted out a nice walk that takes us by three shelters.
Trying to continue living our life normally, so here we are sitting in the community park by our house with the calming water and pretty lights. After relaxing a bit, we got up and left, and about two minutes later, there was a rocket siren. Normal, eh?
So, we've reached 9:15am and still no final word on the ceasefire. Israel is holding up to the ceasefire as of 9:00am, but still no word from Hamas. No rockets...yet. The news commentator is saying that the next few hours are critical to find out whether the ceasefire will hold or not. Great, of course I would have to get out of the house in the next hour. I'll keep you all posted.
PS My assumptions is that the ceasefire will not hold. Hamas is big into theatrics, and they like huge finales. Last night was quiet, and this morning has been very tame, with only a few rockets to the area around Gaza. I hope my prediction is wrong, but I don't see Hamas laying down in such a quiet way.
Monday, July 14, 2014
The Politics of It All...
This is a post that needs to be written but which I am having a very hard time writing, possibly because it's complicated, confusing, and for most, it tears you in a lot of directions. But, I'll give it a try.
Disclaimer: I am open to other opinions. These that I present here, they come from my experience living here in Israel, from my feelings in this particular situation, and from the research I have done. I'm not saying that I am right AT ALL. So, please, feel free to disagree, but let's say from the beginning, that any disagreement will be done respectfully and tastefully.
I'm going to assume that those reading have a bit of an idea behind the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. What I will say, in a nut shell, is that no one remembers who shot the first shot long long ago, who did the first wrong thing. Simply, both sides continue doing the wrong thing, and we're getting nowhere. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result, which is a good perspective of the situation here. Of course, it's much more complicated than that - there is an aspect of self-defense on the Israeli side, the aspect of pure, legitimate anger on the Palestinian side, a terror organization in the government in Gaza...ain't nothing here black and white. But simply, there is a country called Israel that does exist, and there needs to be a country called Palestine that will exist. Neither will or should go away.
Let's focus in on the current situation. As I prefaced in my first war-related post a week ago, events started escalating with the kidnapping and murder of three Israeli teens. Arguably, these tensions from the Palestinian side came because of yet another round of failed peace talks.
Side note: If these governments would listen to the general, sane population, a lot of people on both sides want peace, want two states, want to be able to co-exist. It's terribly sad that politics and money must get in the way of that.
So, Israel discovered the bodies of the teens, still hasn't found the killers, and the whole country entered into mourning. These kids were from the settler community. For those who don't know, there is a large part of Eastern Israel (West Bank, some call it Judea and Samaria) that is designated to be the future Palestinian state. A majority of Palestinians live there, but there is a faction of the Israeli population, Religious Nationalists, who believe that all of the land is Israel's and that it is unacceptable to give it up. So, they have created, with the help of various Israeli governments, settlements in the middle of the West Bank. Warning, I'm going to give a personal opinion. I do not agree with the majority of these settlements. I think they are a roadblock to peace, and I think continuing their construction is just putting Israel in a more dangerous place. More settlements = more money spent on defending and securing them, more tensions from both sides, and just more to sort out in the end. It is also important to point out here the racism and extremism that many (not all!) settlers portray. They will fight Israeli Defense Forces (IDF from here on out), who are there to protect them, they take part in "Price Tag" vandalism and attacks (look it up), and they incite hatred for their Palestinian neighbors. Again, not all are like this, but it sure does tear my heart apart to see these behaviors from my fellow Jews.
A group of Jewish extremists, not clear which from my limited research, then kidnapped and burned a Palestinian teen alive. It's still hard to type that, as I'm just filled with disgust. This same group tried to kidnap a 9 year old Palestinian the day before to presumably do the same thing. After this happened, very basically, all hell broke loose. Riots broke out. Stones and Molotov cocktails were thrown. These happened in the West Bank and Gaza, but also in Arab towns in Israel. This unrest was the cue for Hamas in Gaza to start its antics again (unrelenting and sporadic rocket fire on Israel).
Let's pause here to discuss Hamas. Friends, Hamas is a terror organization, plain and simple. They came to power in the Gaza Strip after Israel pulled out of that land area in 2005. Not going to get into why they came to power, but while they say they were elected democratically, I find it hard to believe that some form of terror and coercion were not involved. They are a terror organization, after all. So, Hamas is in power in Gaza, and they work around the clock to amass rockets and missiles and weapons. They dig smuggling tunnels to bring in these things and tunnels into Israel to commit terror attacks. They get special weapons from Iran. That's scary. I will very briefly touch on the blockade of Gaza that has so many people in a roar. There is a blockade on Gaza simply because while, yes, they want to bring in humanitarian aid, they also want to bring in supplies to make homemade rockets. And that's what really tears my stomach open about Hamas. Gaza gets so much financial aid from all over the world. Gaza gets humanitarian aid, also from Israel, and also from many other countries in the world. What does Hamas, the head of the government in Gaza, do with this money? Presumably, they fund terror. In Gaza, there are no bomb shelters. The roads are not up-kept. Hospitals and schools are sub-par. So why not use that money to take care of Gaza's citizens? Because, my friends, that would be going against what Hamas is all about. Hamas believes that Israel should not exist and that every Jew should die.
So, let's talk about the current situation. Israel is dealing with tens of rocket attacks a day (it can be more, depending on Hamas' mood, I suppose, like when we had 25 in 7 minutes here in BS last week - two houses have been destroyed in BS since the beginning of this war). What happens here when there is a rocket or missile coming our way, a siren sounds, and depending on your distance from Gaza, you have a set amount of time to find shelter. Where I live, we have a minute. Where a lot of people live, they only have 15 seconds. Just time what all you can do in 15 seconds, and then think about if you had to run for your life. Okay, so when we hear these sirens, we know that we have a few options. Neighborhoods and buildings all over have community bomb shelters. Theoretically, they should be spaced so that people have enough time to get there. Some people are fortunate enough to have bomb shelters in their houses that often double as bedrooms or offices. Any new buildings must have one of these, as per law in Israel. Last options, and least favorable, if you are outside and cannot get to a shelter or if you're driving, you can lay flat on the ground and cover your head because, other than a direct hit which no one would survive, when a rocket hits, its shrapnel travels upward in a V-shape and laying flat will keep you out of the line of fire. And, arguably, we all know to do this. We don't want to be in the way of a rocket. Also, the sense of camaraderie is intense during these times. People help people because in the end, we're all one big family.
If the rocket is detected to be going towards a populated area, the anti-missile defense system called Iron Dome, will send a missile to intercept the rocket and detonate it in mid-air. This is one of the reasons why we are instructed to stay in our safe places for ten minutes, because shrapnel can still be falling from the explosion. Also, if a lot of rockets are shot at once from different areas in Gaza, it's possible that it will take longer than a minute to get here. There won't be extra sirens, but it's smart to wait it out.
Why did I go into such detail about what we do during an attack? Because I wanted to illustrate how important it is for us and for our country that we stay safe. Bomb shelters are mandatory. The news is filled every few minutes with IDF officers explaining again and again what to do during an attack. Commercials advertise what to do. The radio and TV stations broadcast real time alerts. Life is a very important thing here in Israel, and we do all we can to preserve it. As of now, only two people in Israel have died, two older women who died from the stress and overexertion of trying to get to a bomb shelter in time. There are many people hurt, some critically, from shrapnel, from a gas station explosion after a direct hit. But for the most part, we're intact.
Now, Gaza. Gaza is coping with hundreds of Israeli Air Force attacks a day. Around 160 people, civilians included, have died since the beginning of this. This is sad. This is unfortunate. There's nothing more to say. However, let's focus in how Hamas operates. Hamas stores their weapons in civilian communities, i.e. schools, hospitals, civilian houses, etc. Hamas also encourages civilians to act as a human shield for buildings that house these Hamas infrastructures. According to traditional rules of war, striking civilian houses is totally off limits. This, however, is an unprecedented type of war with Hamas' cowardly tactics. Israel, for her credit, tries many tactics to lessen the loss of life, including "knocking on the roof" which is where a non-explosive bomb is thrown on top of the house to warn the inhabitants to leave, giving them a minute or more to evacuate (hey, that's more time than we have to get to a shelter!), dropping leaflets explaining that Hamas is being targeted and to please not be in the area with Hamas, phone calls to warn civilians, and stopping an attack all together when civilians are spotted or it is learned that a house or a school or something is located within the radius (sometimes, this information is learned too late). These things don't always work. I've read many sad accounts where, too, Hamas has encouraged its citizens not to listen to Israeli warnings, even ordering them not to evacuate. Also, remember, Gaza doesn't have a siren system in place or bomb shelters for residents. In reality, nothing is done to safe guard residents of Gaza in times of war. And let's not be naive, there is constantly war here.
I don't have an answer about how to better this situation. I don't know how to stop so many from dying. It's painful, and it just plants more hatred and pushes us farther from peace. I just don't know what to do.
I am angry from this whole mess. I am angry at Hamas for doing what it does, to its citizens and to us. I am terrified by these constant rocket attacks. I am angry at the Israeli government for not being a better partner for peace. I want it to stop. My challenge for you is to put yourself on both sides of the situation. What would you do as a Gazan? You'd probably be pretty pissed and full of hate for Israel, and you'd probably be pretty pissed at your government in Hamas for constantly making this a reality (although a lot of people are fed hatred from an early age, and I fear that many aren't at a place where they are capable of being angry at Hamas). What would you do as an Israeli? You would probably be pretty pissed at Hamas for constantly putting you and your loved ones on edge and in danger. You'd be pissed at your Israeli government for not finding a better solution to ending this mess (every like year and a half, another war breaks out with Hamas to combat the constant rocket fire). You'd be pretty hopeless and confused (although, as with Gazans, a lot of Israelis are so encumbered with the length of this mess that their patience is gone and their ideas of Palestinians are not going to change, grouping Hamas members with all Palestinians). It's tough.
To sum up, this situation is not simple. It has me pulled in many different directions. The amount of hate speech from both sides is discouraging and painful. There are many groups of people who are trying for peace. I follow a lot of great groups on Facebook, like Israel Loves Palestine, Palestine Loves Israel, Iran Loves Israel...etc. and etc. Most are from a movement called the Peace Factory. I believe in it, and I see enough people involved that it keeps some hope alive. I hope that those of us motivated for change can make it happen.
So, let the reactions fly. That's my point of view. I hope it has helped. Stay safe.
Disclaimer: I am open to other opinions. These that I present here, they come from my experience living here in Israel, from my feelings in this particular situation, and from the research I have done. I'm not saying that I am right AT ALL. So, please, feel free to disagree, but let's say from the beginning, that any disagreement will be done respectfully and tastefully.
I'm going to assume that those reading have a bit of an idea behind the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. What I will say, in a nut shell, is that no one remembers who shot the first shot long long ago, who did the first wrong thing. Simply, both sides continue doing the wrong thing, and we're getting nowhere. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result, which is a good perspective of the situation here. Of course, it's much more complicated than that - there is an aspect of self-defense on the Israeli side, the aspect of pure, legitimate anger on the Palestinian side, a terror organization in the government in Gaza...ain't nothing here black and white. But simply, there is a country called Israel that does exist, and there needs to be a country called Palestine that will exist. Neither will or should go away.
Let's focus in on the current situation. As I prefaced in my first war-related post a week ago, events started escalating with the kidnapping and murder of three Israeli teens. Arguably, these tensions from the Palestinian side came because of yet another round of failed peace talks.
Side note: If these governments would listen to the general, sane population, a lot of people on both sides want peace, want two states, want to be able to co-exist. It's terribly sad that politics and money must get in the way of that.
So, Israel discovered the bodies of the teens, still hasn't found the killers, and the whole country entered into mourning. These kids were from the settler community. For those who don't know, there is a large part of Eastern Israel (West Bank, some call it Judea and Samaria) that is designated to be the future Palestinian state. A majority of Palestinians live there, but there is a faction of the Israeli population, Religious Nationalists, who believe that all of the land is Israel's and that it is unacceptable to give it up. So, they have created, with the help of various Israeli governments, settlements in the middle of the West Bank. Warning, I'm going to give a personal opinion. I do not agree with the majority of these settlements. I think they are a roadblock to peace, and I think continuing their construction is just putting Israel in a more dangerous place. More settlements = more money spent on defending and securing them, more tensions from both sides, and just more to sort out in the end. It is also important to point out here the racism and extremism that many (not all!) settlers portray. They will fight Israeli Defense Forces (IDF from here on out), who are there to protect them, they take part in "Price Tag" vandalism and attacks (look it up), and they incite hatred for their Palestinian neighbors. Again, not all are like this, but it sure does tear my heart apart to see these behaviors from my fellow Jews.
A group of Jewish extremists, not clear which from my limited research, then kidnapped and burned a Palestinian teen alive. It's still hard to type that, as I'm just filled with disgust. This same group tried to kidnap a 9 year old Palestinian the day before to presumably do the same thing. After this happened, very basically, all hell broke loose. Riots broke out. Stones and Molotov cocktails were thrown. These happened in the West Bank and Gaza, but also in Arab towns in Israel. This unrest was the cue for Hamas in Gaza to start its antics again (unrelenting and sporadic rocket fire on Israel).
Let's pause here to discuss Hamas. Friends, Hamas is a terror organization, plain and simple. They came to power in the Gaza Strip after Israel pulled out of that land area in 2005. Not going to get into why they came to power, but while they say they were elected democratically, I find it hard to believe that some form of terror and coercion were not involved. They are a terror organization, after all. So, Hamas is in power in Gaza, and they work around the clock to amass rockets and missiles and weapons. They dig smuggling tunnels to bring in these things and tunnels into Israel to commit terror attacks. They get special weapons from Iran. That's scary. I will very briefly touch on the blockade of Gaza that has so many people in a roar. There is a blockade on Gaza simply because while, yes, they want to bring in humanitarian aid, they also want to bring in supplies to make homemade rockets. And that's what really tears my stomach open about Hamas. Gaza gets so much financial aid from all over the world. Gaza gets humanitarian aid, also from Israel, and also from many other countries in the world. What does Hamas, the head of the government in Gaza, do with this money? Presumably, they fund terror. In Gaza, there are no bomb shelters. The roads are not up-kept. Hospitals and schools are sub-par. So why not use that money to take care of Gaza's citizens? Because, my friends, that would be going against what Hamas is all about. Hamas believes that Israel should not exist and that every Jew should die.
So, let's talk about the current situation. Israel is dealing with tens of rocket attacks a day (it can be more, depending on Hamas' mood, I suppose, like when we had 25 in 7 minutes here in BS last week - two houses have been destroyed in BS since the beginning of this war). What happens here when there is a rocket or missile coming our way, a siren sounds, and depending on your distance from Gaza, you have a set amount of time to find shelter. Where I live, we have a minute. Where a lot of people live, they only have 15 seconds. Just time what all you can do in 15 seconds, and then think about if you had to run for your life. Okay, so when we hear these sirens, we know that we have a few options. Neighborhoods and buildings all over have community bomb shelters. Theoretically, they should be spaced so that people have enough time to get there. Some people are fortunate enough to have bomb shelters in their houses that often double as bedrooms or offices. Any new buildings must have one of these, as per law in Israel. Last options, and least favorable, if you are outside and cannot get to a shelter or if you're driving, you can lay flat on the ground and cover your head because, other than a direct hit which no one would survive, when a rocket hits, its shrapnel travels upward in a V-shape and laying flat will keep you out of the line of fire. And, arguably, we all know to do this. We don't want to be in the way of a rocket. Also, the sense of camaraderie is intense during these times. People help people because in the end, we're all one big family.
If the rocket is detected to be going towards a populated area, the anti-missile defense system called Iron Dome, will send a missile to intercept the rocket and detonate it in mid-air. This is one of the reasons why we are instructed to stay in our safe places for ten minutes, because shrapnel can still be falling from the explosion. Also, if a lot of rockets are shot at once from different areas in Gaza, it's possible that it will take longer than a minute to get here. There won't be extra sirens, but it's smart to wait it out.
Why did I go into such detail about what we do during an attack? Because I wanted to illustrate how important it is for us and for our country that we stay safe. Bomb shelters are mandatory. The news is filled every few minutes with IDF officers explaining again and again what to do during an attack. Commercials advertise what to do. The radio and TV stations broadcast real time alerts. Life is a very important thing here in Israel, and we do all we can to preserve it. As of now, only two people in Israel have died, two older women who died from the stress and overexertion of trying to get to a bomb shelter in time. There are many people hurt, some critically, from shrapnel, from a gas station explosion after a direct hit. But for the most part, we're intact.
Now, Gaza. Gaza is coping with hundreds of Israeli Air Force attacks a day. Around 160 people, civilians included, have died since the beginning of this. This is sad. This is unfortunate. There's nothing more to say. However, let's focus in how Hamas operates. Hamas stores their weapons in civilian communities, i.e. schools, hospitals, civilian houses, etc. Hamas also encourages civilians to act as a human shield for buildings that house these Hamas infrastructures. According to traditional rules of war, striking civilian houses is totally off limits. This, however, is an unprecedented type of war with Hamas' cowardly tactics. Israel, for her credit, tries many tactics to lessen the loss of life, including "knocking on the roof" which is where a non-explosive bomb is thrown on top of the house to warn the inhabitants to leave, giving them a minute or more to evacuate (hey, that's more time than we have to get to a shelter!), dropping leaflets explaining that Hamas is being targeted and to please not be in the area with Hamas, phone calls to warn civilians, and stopping an attack all together when civilians are spotted or it is learned that a house or a school or something is located within the radius (sometimes, this information is learned too late). These things don't always work. I've read many sad accounts where, too, Hamas has encouraged its citizens not to listen to Israeli warnings, even ordering them not to evacuate. Also, remember, Gaza doesn't have a siren system in place or bomb shelters for residents. In reality, nothing is done to safe guard residents of Gaza in times of war. And let's not be naive, there is constantly war here.
I don't have an answer about how to better this situation. I don't know how to stop so many from dying. It's painful, and it just plants more hatred and pushes us farther from peace. I just don't know what to do.
I am angry from this whole mess. I am angry at Hamas for doing what it does, to its citizens and to us. I am terrified by these constant rocket attacks. I am angry at the Israeli government for not being a better partner for peace. I want it to stop. My challenge for you is to put yourself on both sides of the situation. What would you do as a Gazan? You'd probably be pretty pissed and full of hate for Israel, and you'd probably be pretty pissed at your government in Hamas for constantly making this a reality (although a lot of people are fed hatred from an early age, and I fear that many aren't at a place where they are capable of being angry at Hamas). What would you do as an Israeli? You would probably be pretty pissed at Hamas for constantly putting you and your loved ones on edge and in danger. You'd be pissed at your Israeli government for not finding a better solution to ending this mess (every like year and a half, another war breaks out with Hamas to combat the constant rocket fire). You'd be pretty hopeless and confused (although, as with Gazans, a lot of Israelis are so encumbered with the length of this mess that their patience is gone and their ideas of Palestinians are not going to change, grouping Hamas members with all Palestinians). It's tough.
To sum up, this situation is not simple. It has me pulled in many different directions. The amount of hate speech from both sides is discouraging and painful. There are many groups of people who are trying for peace. I follow a lot of great groups on Facebook, like Israel Loves Palestine, Palestine Loves Israel, Iran Loves Israel...etc. and etc. Most are from a movement called the Peace Factory. I believe in it, and I see enough people involved that it keeps some hope alive. I hope that those of us motivated for change can make it happen.
So, let the reactions fly. That's my point of view. I hope it has helped. Stay safe.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Day 3: Run for Your Life
Yesterday (since it's 7:30am on Friday, and I'm procrastinating getting ready for work) was rough. Last night, I reached that point of mental exhaustion where I felt, if there was another siren, I would just lay down on the spot. I didn't have it in me to run anymore. I didn't have it in my to push through. But, I went to sleep, and now I'm feeling mentally better.
Now for the events of yesterday. The day started quietly, except for the news cast playing a live siren that was in the center of Israel, and I panicked and thought it was here. Not bright, dudes. I had to work evening shift, but we are closing the mall two hours early because of security situation (Hamas really likes those evening barrages of rockets). I scheduled with a friend from work to meet for her English lesson before our shift, and as I pulled into the parking spot, a siren started. I froze and had to really push myself to get moving again. Turn off the car. Get you purse. Close the door. Lock the door. Run. A man behind me started saying to me, "Run, run, run!" Friends, I'm not a runner, but that sprint on adrenaline somehow got me inside the mall in time. I knew that Yagel would be in a close bomb shelter, so I skipped the first one, and ran to the second one with just enough time to spare. I hugged him so tight and just collapsed to the floor, shaking.
I'll pause here and start a sort of rant. There are plenty of Israelis who are scared, and they'll tell you that. But the vast majority are quick to tell you, "You have nothing to worry about," "You have no reason to be scared," etc. I have every single friggin' reason to be scared right now. My physical safety is compromised (not as much as anyone would think, since we have tons of bomb shelters and the Iron Dome which intercepts most missiles). My mental safety is out the window...that's why this whole game is called TERROR. I'm terrorized. I'm scared. And that's okay. I'm allowed to be. I wasn't born here, I didn't grow up here, I wasn't in the army. These things are scary, and I don't have to pretend to be Israeli tough, because, frankly, I'm not. End of rant.
Check out this fun picture that Yagel and I took in the bomb shelter:
I guess that makes us part of the trend of "Bomb Shelter Selfies" that have an entire Facebook page dedicated to them. No, I don't want to put it up there. I mainly took this to get the weird portable potty in the background. That's scarier than Hamas...
I continued on to my lesson with my friend, and as we sat at a cafe, and mall very politely announced, "Red alert, red alert, please make your way to the closest bomb shelter." This time, I very calmly picked up my coffee and my bag and I walked to the bomb shelter, since it was about ten feet away. I even continued my lesson with my friend while we were standing around waiting for the all clear.
My shift started, and as I discussed earlier, hyper-vigilance takes center stage in this scenario. We have a lot of responsibility on top of having to care for ourselves. But, for the most part, the shift was quiet. We arrived at 40 minutes until close and the sirens started again. I started herding customers to the bomb shelter, asking them to please not take the clothes out of the store (duh?). We thought it was all clear, so we came back in, only to be greeted seconds later with another siren. I called Yagel over and over but he didn't answer because I was sure he was out on a walk with the dog, like most other days. Ten times, and no answer, and then I had to keep people from coming back into the store because sirens were still going off. Finally, Yagel calls and tells me that he had been walking the dog in the neighborhood, and he had asked himself, if there is a siren, where will I go? He then saw a neighborhood bomb shelter and was immediately greeted with the siren. He said that the shelter is really safe, as he had to go down over ten feet into the ground to get to the room. He also said that someone was living in the shelter, someone who didn't speak English or Hebrew, and that together they wordlessly counted the booms. He instructed me to stay put because there were still sirens. We felt the bombs as they hit, so many, and we all knew that there had been too many missiles at once for the Iron Dome to intercept them all. Yagel called back and said that there had been 25 in all in the course of 7-8 minutes. Customers started getting the news. A house in a neighborhood close by took a direct hit, but thankfully everyone was in their bomb shelter. Another missile landed in the street. People were lightly injured. And, going with my theme, I didn't know it was possible to feel anymore naked than I already did. Stripped to the bone.
The rest of our night was quiet. The girls from work convinced me to go have a beer with everyone at a bar with a bomb shelter. I did, I ate a badass hamburger, but I just couldn't be there. I was blank. I was unfocused. I was broken. That's when the feeling of not being able to run anymore hit. I told Yagel, and he looked at me with knowing eyes. We've both been there. God, I'm so lucky to have him.
And this morning. I wake up to the terrible news that, not only did Hamas get rockets to Haifa (friends, that's on the northern border of Israel...it's unheard of), but Lebanon started firing rockets at Israel. So, we've got rocket fire from both ends. A woman in Haifa died while running to the shelter...either from shock or overexertion. I would like to send a big personal fuck you to Hamas, Hezbollah, and especially Iran, for their contributions to this current state of affairs. I have a lot to say about the politics, and I'll try to make my next post about that. If today is a quiet day, maybe I'll be able to concentrate enough to organize my thoughts. Wishing you all health and quiet and safety in these very troubling times.
PS I've heard from quite a few people: why don't you just leave??? Friends, I appreciate the concern, but please keep in mind, I'm not traveling here just for fun. I live here. My life is here. I have responsibilities here, not the least of which is to finish writing papers for the end of the semester at university. I'm coming home in about two weeks (earlier than scheduled) because my dad has to have open heart surgery. We're all nervous about the surgery but happy that it's finally happened because it is to repair an aneurysm that he has had for 11 years. It's about time. So, I'll hold tight here and close things up the way I need to, and then we'll meet Stateside. I love you all.
Now for the events of yesterday. The day started quietly, except for the news cast playing a live siren that was in the center of Israel, and I panicked and thought it was here. Not bright, dudes. I had to work evening shift, but we are closing the mall two hours early because of security situation (Hamas really likes those evening barrages of rockets). I scheduled with a friend from work to meet for her English lesson before our shift, and as I pulled into the parking spot, a siren started. I froze and had to really push myself to get moving again. Turn off the car. Get you purse. Close the door. Lock the door. Run. A man behind me started saying to me, "Run, run, run!" Friends, I'm not a runner, but that sprint on adrenaline somehow got me inside the mall in time. I knew that Yagel would be in a close bomb shelter, so I skipped the first one, and ran to the second one with just enough time to spare. I hugged him so tight and just collapsed to the floor, shaking.
I'll pause here and start a sort of rant. There are plenty of Israelis who are scared, and they'll tell you that. But the vast majority are quick to tell you, "You have nothing to worry about," "You have no reason to be scared," etc. I have every single friggin' reason to be scared right now. My physical safety is compromised (not as much as anyone would think, since we have tons of bomb shelters and the Iron Dome which intercepts most missiles). My mental safety is out the window...that's why this whole game is called TERROR. I'm terrorized. I'm scared. And that's okay. I'm allowed to be. I wasn't born here, I didn't grow up here, I wasn't in the army. These things are scary, and I don't have to pretend to be Israeli tough, because, frankly, I'm not. End of rant.
Check out this fun picture that Yagel and I took in the bomb shelter:
I guess that makes us part of the trend of "Bomb Shelter Selfies" that have an entire Facebook page dedicated to them. No, I don't want to put it up there. I mainly took this to get the weird portable potty in the background. That's scarier than Hamas...
I continued on to my lesson with my friend, and as we sat at a cafe, and mall very politely announced, "Red alert, red alert, please make your way to the closest bomb shelter." This time, I very calmly picked up my coffee and my bag and I walked to the bomb shelter, since it was about ten feet away. I even continued my lesson with my friend while we were standing around waiting for the all clear.
My shift started, and as I discussed earlier, hyper-vigilance takes center stage in this scenario. We have a lot of responsibility on top of having to care for ourselves. But, for the most part, the shift was quiet. We arrived at 40 minutes until close and the sirens started again. I started herding customers to the bomb shelter, asking them to please not take the clothes out of the store (duh?). We thought it was all clear, so we came back in, only to be greeted seconds later with another siren. I called Yagel over and over but he didn't answer because I was sure he was out on a walk with the dog, like most other days. Ten times, and no answer, and then I had to keep people from coming back into the store because sirens were still going off. Finally, Yagel calls and tells me that he had been walking the dog in the neighborhood, and he had asked himself, if there is a siren, where will I go? He then saw a neighborhood bomb shelter and was immediately greeted with the siren. He said that the shelter is really safe, as he had to go down over ten feet into the ground to get to the room. He also said that someone was living in the shelter, someone who didn't speak English or Hebrew, and that together they wordlessly counted the booms. He instructed me to stay put because there were still sirens. We felt the bombs as they hit, so many, and we all knew that there had been too many missiles at once for the Iron Dome to intercept them all. Yagel called back and said that there had been 25 in all in the course of 7-8 minutes. Customers started getting the news. A house in a neighborhood close by took a direct hit, but thankfully everyone was in their bomb shelter. Another missile landed in the street. People were lightly injured. And, going with my theme, I didn't know it was possible to feel anymore naked than I already did. Stripped to the bone.
The rest of our night was quiet. The girls from work convinced me to go have a beer with everyone at a bar with a bomb shelter. I did, I ate a badass hamburger, but I just couldn't be there. I was blank. I was unfocused. I was broken. That's when the feeling of not being able to run anymore hit. I told Yagel, and he looked at me with knowing eyes. We've both been there. God, I'm so lucky to have him.
And this morning. I wake up to the terrible news that, not only did Hamas get rockets to Haifa (friends, that's on the northern border of Israel...it's unheard of), but Lebanon started firing rockets at Israel. So, we've got rocket fire from both ends. A woman in Haifa died while running to the shelter...either from shock or overexertion. I would like to send a big personal fuck you to Hamas, Hezbollah, and especially Iran, for their contributions to this current state of affairs. I have a lot to say about the politics, and I'll try to make my next post about that. If today is a quiet day, maybe I'll be able to concentrate enough to organize my thoughts. Wishing you all health and quiet and safety in these very troubling times.
PS I've heard from quite a few people: why don't you just leave??? Friends, I appreciate the concern, but please keep in mind, I'm not traveling here just for fun. I live here. My life is here. I have responsibilities here, not the least of which is to finish writing papers for the end of the semester at university. I'm coming home in about two weeks (earlier than scheduled) because my dad has to have open heart surgery. We're all nervous about the surgery but happy that it's finally happened because it is to repair an aneurysm that he has had for 11 years. It's about time. So, I'll hold tight here and close things up the way I need to, and then we'll meet Stateside. I love you all.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Day 1: Laying it on Strong
Okay, it's official. A war is upon us. Israel has named it Operation Protective Edge. It was a tense day and a very hot evening. Let's have a rundown of today's events from my narrow perspective of the world...
Driving to work super early this morning was not fun. Constantly listening for sirens and constantly thinking about where to stop and where to run to, if need be. Yagel's mom suggested that we take pots to put on our heads if we got stuck outside. Hysterical as it is, she did this to Yagel during the last war, and when he got stuck outside during a siren, he put the pot on his head. I'm not sure if it was out of fear from the rockets or from fear of his mother - when she says put a pot on your head, you put a damn pot on your head!
We arrived all fine and dandy and started to work. We even put on music to lighten the mood. I swear that I heard a siren among the melodies, but everyone assured me that I had not. Suddenly, the rest of the workers who had been in a different part of the store came running by where we were saying there was a siren. It was super early in the morning, so no one was in the mall. We all stood in the bomb shelter (yes, every corner of the mall has one) and waited. I noticed that we even had a convenient portable toilet in the case that we might get stuck there. We waited and waited...and nothing happened. Finally, we figured out that there had not been a siren...we had all just imagined it within the music. That, my friends, can shed some light on just how jacked up your brain is in a time like this. You hear a siren in EVERYTHING. The wind blowing, paper rustling, anything sounds like a siren. My managers did have a good laugh watching us bolt for a false alarm over and over again on the store's cameras.
Our day continues, and we're all on edge for a siren during work hours with customers in the store. We all have our various duties - mine to close up the cash registers, another to close the gate of the store, another to start herding customers to the safe rooms. And finally, the time came. We heard the loud speakers in the mall announcing "Code Red, Code Red," and we jumped into action. That's an adrenaline rush I could do without again in my life, but I assume it will continue throughout this week, until it gets so bad that they close the mall. It also caused me to be hyper alert the rest of my shift...just waiting.
And we waited for quite awhile. Finished work. Went home for a short nap. Took the dog to the dog park. And as we were there, letting him run off his nervous energy, everyone started talking about the messages we all got - Hamas sent rockets to Tel Aviv. TA is the largest city in Israel, and her residents are not as seasoned at the whole run for cover as we Southerners are. I got an uneasy feeling and insisted we leave, as many others did. But, at this point in the story, I have to point out how desperately we all tried to continue behaving normally today. We went out of our houses. We went to work. We were outside. Sure, we may have had to run for cover, but we tried for normalcy.
Now we arrive at the hot part of our saga. About 7:30pm, we arrived at our safe haven, Yagel's parents' house, farther removed from the area close to Gaza (or so we thought). We rest, I'm glued to my phone, and finally Yagel convinces me to go swimming. It sounded amazing after the tense day and my super sore post-physical therapy muscles. And it was amazing. Then, Yagel's mom stuck her head out of the window and said that there were more rockets in Tel Aviv. Seriously? In the course of the last war, Hamas sent missiles to Tel Aviv twice. In the course of a couple of hours, the same thing happened! This is when it all started feeling very serious. We got out of the pool - I felt it coming. We took a shower. Yagel finished and said that the rockets continued falling...Tel Aviv, Kfar Saba, Herziliya. I was still in the shower when the terror arrived here. The whole family shrieked for me to get out of the shower as fast as possible. So, sopping wet and draped in two towels, I slipped my way into the bomb shelter and sat there in all my towel-covered glory with Yagel's family, just shaking and confused. And we learned that not only were there a ton of rockets in Be'er Sheva/Omer, rockets reached the center to Tel Aviv and even to Jerusalem. Five rockets to Jerusalem. Four booms we counted here. All in all, in about five minutes, 30 rockets pounded some of the largest communities in Israel, putting so many more people in the line of danger. You remember that naked feeling I described yesterday? I didn't think it was possible, but I feel even more naked now. This entire country is under attack. Nowhere is immune to this madness. I don't have the energy to get into the politics of it all now, but just know that I am in total shock. This vulnerable and exhausted feeling just won't go away. I hope I can sleep. I hope it will be quiet. But I'm also not naive enough to think that this will be the case.
Side note, it's so refreshing to see Israel take a break from the craziness and watch the World Cup. Everyone is freaking out about the Brazil vs. Germany game where Germany has made 5 goals in like 5 minutes. I was in shock...and we all took a deep breath and enjoyed ourselves a bit. It's those moments of normalcy that will surely keep us all going through what the government has said will be a long affair. If you're interested in getting a real time look at what we are experiencing here, I suggest checking out www.thetimesofisrael.com (they have a liveblog that continually updates with new developments) or www.ynetnews.com (click on their updates from the home page on the left hand side). If you're really masochistic, you can download the iPhone app, Red Alert, and get real time push notifications of every time there is a siren. I DO NOT recommend it, as it will send you over the edge. So, signing off for now. I do hope that the following days will be less eventful, but I highly doubt it.
Sending lots of love, and hopefully some peace.
Driving to work super early this morning was not fun. Constantly listening for sirens and constantly thinking about where to stop and where to run to, if need be. Yagel's mom suggested that we take pots to put on our heads if we got stuck outside. Hysterical as it is, she did this to Yagel during the last war, and when he got stuck outside during a siren, he put the pot on his head. I'm not sure if it was out of fear from the rockets or from fear of his mother - when she says put a pot on your head, you put a damn pot on your head!
We arrived all fine and dandy and started to work. We even put on music to lighten the mood. I swear that I heard a siren among the melodies, but everyone assured me that I had not. Suddenly, the rest of the workers who had been in a different part of the store came running by where we were saying there was a siren. It was super early in the morning, so no one was in the mall. We all stood in the bomb shelter (yes, every corner of the mall has one) and waited. I noticed that we even had a convenient portable toilet in the case that we might get stuck there. We waited and waited...and nothing happened. Finally, we figured out that there had not been a siren...we had all just imagined it within the music. That, my friends, can shed some light on just how jacked up your brain is in a time like this. You hear a siren in EVERYTHING. The wind blowing, paper rustling, anything sounds like a siren. My managers did have a good laugh watching us bolt for a false alarm over and over again on the store's cameras.
Our day continues, and we're all on edge for a siren during work hours with customers in the store. We all have our various duties - mine to close up the cash registers, another to close the gate of the store, another to start herding customers to the safe rooms. And finally, the time came. We heard the loud speakers in the mall announcing "Code Red, Code Red," and we jumped into action. That's an adrenaline rush I could do without again in my life, but I assume it will continue throughout this week, until it gets so bad that they close the mall. It also caused me to be hyper alert the rest of my shift...just waiting.
And we waited for quite awhile. Finished work. Went home for a short nap. Took the dog to the dog park. And as we were there, letting him run off his nervous energy, everyone started talking about the messages we all got - Hamas sent rockets to Tel Aviv. TA is the largest city in Israel, and her residents are not as seasoned at the whole run for cover as we Southerners are. I got an uneasy feeling and insisted we leave, as many others did. But, at this point in the story, I have to point out how desperately we all tried to continue behaving normally today. We went out of our houses. We went to work. We were outside. Sure, we may have had to run for cover, but we tried for normalcy.
Now we arrive at the hot part of our saga. About 7:30pm, we arrived at our safe haven, Yagel's parents' house, farther removed from the area close to Gaza (or so we thought). We rest, I'm glued to my phone, and finally Yagel convinces me to go swimming. It sounded amazing after the tense day and my super sore post-physical therapy muscles. And it was amazing. Then, Yagel's mom stuck her head out of the window and said that there were more rockets in Tel Aviv. Seriously? In the course of the last war, Hamas sent missiles to Tel Aviv twice. In the course of a couple of hours, the same thing happened! This is when it all started feeling very serious. We got out of the pool - I felt it coming. We took a shower. Yagel finished and said that the rockets continued falling...Tel Aviv, Kfar Saba, Herziliya. I was still in the shower when the terror arrived here. The whole family shrieked for me to get out of the shower as fast as possible. So, sopping wet and draped in two towels, I slipped my way into the bomb shelter and sat there in all my towel-covered glory with Yagel's family, just shaking and confused. And we learned that not only were there a ton of rockets in Be'er Sheva/Omer, rockets reached the center to Tel Aviv and even to Jerusalem. Five rockets to Jerusalem. Four booms we counted here. All in all, in about five minutes, 30 rockets pounded some of the largest communities in Israel, putting so many more people in the line of danger. You remember that naked feeling I described yesterday? I didn't think it was possible, but I feel even more naked now. This entire country is under attack. Nowhere is immune to this madness. I don't have the energy to get into the politics of it all now, but just know that I am in total shock. This vulnerable and exhausted feeling just won't go away. I hope I can sleep. I hope it will be quiet. But I'm also not naive enough to think that this will be the case.
Side note, it's so refreshing to see Israel take a break from the craziness and watch the World Cup. Everyone is freaking out about the Brazil vs. Germany game where Germany has made 5 goals in like 5 minutes. I was in shock...and we all took a deep breath and enjoyed ourselves a bit. It's those moments of normalcy that will surely keep us all going through what the government has said will be a long affair. If you're interested in getting a real time look at what we are experiencing here, I suggest checking out www.thetimesofisrael.com (they have a liveblog that continually updates with new developments) or www.ynetnews.com (click on their updates from the home page on the left hand side). If you're really masochistic, you can download the iPhone app, Red Alert, and get real time push notifications of every time there is a siren. I DO NOT recommend it, as it will send you over the edge. So, signing off for now. I do hope that the following days will be less eventful, but I highly doubt it.
Sending lots of love, and hopefully some peace.
Monday, July 7, 2014
When My Innocence Was Stolen...Again.
Tonight finds me on another eve of war and another post writing about feelings, thoughts, reactions, etc. I'm sure it's also interesting/fascinating/scary for y'all to read, and I hope that none of you will be in a situation such as this. With that being said, let me quickly recap what is going on.
On June 12, three Israeli teens were kidnapped in the West Bank as they were hitchhiking home from school. The kidnappers, still at large, were Palestinians affiliated with Hamas. The search for the three teens went on for almost three weeks and ended, very sadly, in the discovery of their bodies in a field north of Hebron. It's a horribly tragic story that I'm not going to get into here. Any of you are welcome to email me if you're really interested in some further reading or discussion: turner.megane@gmail.com.
After this, a group of Jewish extremists, according to the arrest reports and confessions from the group, kidnapped a Palestinian teen and burned him alive. I'm at a loss for words and don't even know how to continue typing this post. I'm am horrified and sickened and angered by this. This heinous and cowardly act devastated a family and arguably set off a very nasty escalation that has me hypervigilant and with flashbacks of traumas past. Riots are ongoing around the country and rocket attacks are frequent and terrifying (that is, in many parts of the South...in Be'er Sheva, we've had two different rounds of rockets so far as opposed to 60 rockets that fell in less than an hour all around Southern Israel about three hours ago). A rather significant and nasty riot happened last night outside of the small Be'er Sheva suburb that I'm calling my safe haven for this go-round. Bedouins protested and rioted in the street at the entrance to the city, throwing Molotov cocktails and rocks at cars. People were hurt and property badly damaged. A friend of mine was traveling back along this route and called the police to ask if it was safe to pass through. Their response - do a U-turn and go back because we have lost all control there.
What. Is. Going. On?!?!?
And, of course, those powerful and chilling air raid sirens are becoming a frequent part of our lives again. Saturday evening, after reports of rockets gradually getting deeper into Israel and closer to Be'er Sheva, it was show time. We heard the sirens and quickly got into the safe room (I'm with my boyfriend's family). Someone told me that the second time you go through it, it's easier. I'm not so sure, because I have found myself shaking and crying and tensed ever since. You wait and wait for that siren (I've been waiting for a year a half, always monitoring, always looking, always thinking about where to run...gotta love trauma), and then your fears are confirmed with a piercing, gut-wrenching wail. I was at home today between a physical therapy appointment and teaching a dance lesson when I got caught off guard. I almost broke the dog's neck as I yanked him through our front door and down the stairwell. We don't have a safe room in this new apartment, so down a few flights of stairs has to do. I have been on edge ever sense. Afterwards, I had to drive to my various lessons (which, by the way, I passed my Israeli drivers' test and now have my Israeli license), and I was confronted with the thought - what do I do if there's a siren while I'm driving? Yes, we're told to pull over, exit the car, try to find shelter, and if not, lay on the ground and cover your head. Great, but how do I execute this with all the batshit crazy Israeli drivers? What if there's no room to pull over? I have to remember to lock the doors, since a lot of cars got stolen last war...and all while figuring out where I could run to at every turn. At one point, I got so tired of these racing thoughts, I just shut my brain off and drove. That is the most "Israeli" moment I have probably ever had. Just letting it all go. Can I change it? No. Can I live my life in a small concrete bomb shelter? No. I can, however, go about my daily life while be smart and safe. And that, in and of itself, is scary for me.
With all of that said, I'm trying not to look at the news as much, as per advice of a dear friend and veteran Israeli immigrant from America, because why do I need to mess myself up anymore psychologically? But I also can't shake the texts and emails and phone calls from America. I know everyone is worried sick and is only getting news of the big picture while I'm just in a little sliver. And I can't help but feeling so naked, so bare after these attacks. After the attacks on the three Israeli teens. On the Palestinian teen. The riots. The rockets. I'm left feeling so empty and so confused about how to reconcile all these thoughts with the reality that I have in my head of my adopted home. I suppose this is part of the reality, but perhaps, it is a part I am not yet ready to accept.
More to say and more to update, but I've got to try and get some sleep before the madness truly begins. Wishing all those in this area of the world quiet and calm. Love and peace to everyone involved, not just to my fellow Israelis.
On June 12, three Israeli teens were kidnapped in the West Bank as they were hitchhiking home from school. The kidnappers, still at large, were Palestinians affiliated with Hamas. The search for the three teens went on for almost three weeks and ended, very sadly, in the discovery of their bodies in a field north of Hebron. It's a horribly tragic story that I'm not going to get into here. Any of you are welcome to email me if you're really interested in some further reading or discussion: turner.megane@gmail.com.
After this, a group of Jewish extremists, according to the arrest reports and confessions from the group, kidnapped a Palestinian teen and burned him alive. I'm at a loss for words and don't even know how to continue typing this post. I'm am horrified and sickened and angered by this. This heinous and cowardly act devastated a family and arguably set off a very nasty escalation that has me hypervigilant and with flashbacks of traumas past. Riots are ongoing around the country and rocket attacks are frequent and terrifying (that is, in many parts of the South...in Be'er Sheva, we've had two different rounds of rockets so far as opposed to 60 rockets that fell in less than an hour all around Southern Israel about three hours ago). A rather significant and nasty riot happened last night outside of the small Be'er Sheva suburb that I'm calling my safe haven for this go-round. Bedouins protested and rioted in the street at the entrance to the city, throwing Molotov cocktails and rocks at cars. People were hurt and property badly damaged. A friend of mine was traveling back along this route and called the police to ask if it was safe to pass through. Their response - do a U-turn and go back because we have lost all control there.
What. Is. Going. On?!?!?
And, of course, those powerful and chilling air raid sirens are becoming a frequent part of our lives again. Saturday evening, after reports of rockets gradually getting deeper into Israel and closer to Be'er Sheva, it was show time. We heard the sirens and quickly got into the safe room (I'm with my boyfriend's family). Someone told me that the second time you go through it, it's easier. I'm not so sure, because I have found myself shaking and crying and tensed ever since. You wait and wait for that siren (I've been waiting for a year a half, always monitoring, always looking, always thinking about where to run...gotta love trauma), and then your fears are confirmed with a piercing, gut-wrenching wail. I was at home today between a physical therapy appointment and teaching a dance lesson when I got caught off guard. I almost broke the dog's neck as I yanked him through our front door and down the stairwell. We don't have a safe room in this new apartment, so down a few flights of stairs has to do. I have been on edge ever sense. Afterwards, I had to drive to my various lessons (which, by the way, I passed my Israeli drivers' test and now have my Israeli license), and I was confronted with the thought - what do I do if there's a siren while I'm driving? Yes, we're told to pull over, exit the car, try to find shelter, and if not, lay on the ground and cover your head. Great, but how do I execute this with all the batshit crazy Israeli drivers? What if there's no room to pull over? I have to remember to lock the doors, since a lot of cars got stolen last war...and all while figuring out where I could run to at every turn. At one point, I got so tired of these racing thoughts, I just shut my brain off and drove. That is the most "Israeli" moment I have probably ever had. Just letting it all go. Can I change it? No. Can I live my life in a small concrete bomb shelter? No. I can, however, go about my daily life while be smart and safe. And that, in and of itself, is scary for me.
With all of that said, I'm trying not to look at the news as much, as per advice of a dear friend and veteran Israeli immigrant from America, because why do I need to mess myself up anymore psychologically? But I also can't shake the texts and emails and phone calls from America. I know everyone is worried sick and is only getting news of the big picture while I'm just in a little sliver. And I can't help but feeling so naked, so bare after these attacks. After the attacks on the three Israeli teens. On the Palestinian teen. The riots. The rockets. I'm left feeling so empty and so confused about how to reconcile all these thoughts with the reality that I have in my head of my adopted home. I suppose this is part of the reality, but perhaps, it is a part I am not yet ready to accept.
More to say and more to update, but I've got to try and get some sleep before the madness truly begins. Wishing all those in this area of the world quiet and calm. Love and peace to everyone involved, not just to my fellow Israelis.
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