I want you, for a moment, to use your imagination. Especially if you're reading from a place like the US, you probably don't have much experience with traffic circles. I sure as hell didn't. They exist to assist the flow of traffic at an intersection that doesn't need a traffic light. Think of it this way - they're in place of a four-way stop. Getting in and out of the flow of traffic is tricky enough, especially with Israeli drivers coming at you in a flying, circular vortex of vehicular power (it really is that frightening sometimes). Now, take that circle, and make it two lanes. Two lanes of spinning insanity. And a lot of impatient people who are in that inner ring but who really, really want to exit RIGHT NOW, no matter the damage they cause to the other cars as they cut you off and nearly run over grandma who was crossing the road in the process. And then they continue down the road, seemingly oblivious to the massive accident they nearly caused and most definitely without a care in the world to the extreme spike in blood pressure that you, the other driver, just experienced.
That's how life in Israel is. For me. Right now. Maybe it's the change in weather. Winter is upon us which means rain and sandstorms and bitterly cold nights. The skyline is a peaceful gray right now as I gaze out my window. Maybe it's the upside down security situation right now, with terror attacks becoming more and more frequent and huge mistakes being made on both sides (why can't I just run the world?). Maybe it's the routine of school and internship and work and lessons and somehow trying to maintain a relationship, friendships, and my sanity. I can't put my finger on it. But right now, Israel is making me grumpy, just like that driver in the two-lane traffic circle.
It could be the bureaucracy that caused me to travel three different times to the hospital to pick up the disc of the CT I did a month ago. It could be the laziness of many secretaries in this country that causes so many issues and so many delays. It could be the two guys who rolled up next to me and my girlfriend (and my boyfriend and my dog) while waiting on my friend's taxi that wanted to "hire us" for the evening. It could be the trash in the streets, the dog shit on the sidewalks, and the people who think nothing is wrong with this. It could be the woman behind me at the supermarket who literally stood on my heels with the short-sighted logic that this will indeed make the line move faster. It could be that little, scared voice in my head that is so petrified of what may be...all this talk of the Third Intifada is terribly unnerving.
But then...then Israel, in her own backwards way, makes me fall in love all over again. It was the Chassidim dancing wildly on top of their van outside of a hip Be'er Sheva restaurant, basically stealing men from their girlfriends to dance with them to blaring music about the coming of the Messiah. And the awesome sticker that I got that says, "God loves you." It could be that reassuring smile from the cashier who knows just how frustrating it is to deal with those in this country who were not born with an ounce of patience - and to have hope that not everyone here is like that. It could be teaching someone English lessons in exchange for private yoga lessons (y'all, I hung upside down today on a rope! It was exhilarating!). It could be teaching a class to med students in English about how to effectively communicate with a patient and then immediately running to my own internship of how to care for clients in Hebrew. Life here always has that dichotomy. And just when you feel like you're about to break from anger and frustration, here she comes again to make you fall in love. It happens every time.
So, Israel, even with your endless frustrations, I continue to appreciate your beauty and your surprises. And I love you dearly. Until next time...
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