The war in my adopted home is waging on. And while I'm in my first home, the war in my head continues to wage on, as well. I'm finding it so difficult to watch the news (or any other TV show that might discuss current events), and I'm so frustrated and angry that this madness continues...and that the whole world is blind to what is going on. I would really like for any head of any country or any foreign body (cough, cough Ban Ki Moon) to live in the situation me and my loved ones have for the past MONTH and tell me that we are in the wrong. I've lost my drive to push forward with educating and correcting, and I'm so broken hearted about what is going on back home. Since that phrase - home is where the heart is - means that my heart is split in two.
I thought that, just to give some more perspective, I would write about all the instances in my life that were stopped by sirens for 20+ days. And yes, even here in the States, my life has been interrupted by those horrible sirens and rockets.
Eating dinner.
Making coffee.
Talking on the phone with my mom.
Taking a shower.
Walking the dog x7 (alone and together).
Driving (Yagel has gotten stuck 4 times).
Parking the car.
Opening the store.
Working in the store x10 (at least).
In the middle of checking someone out at the register.
Before clocking in at work.
On the toilet.
Sleeping.
Napping.
Sleeping.
Sleeping.
Sleeping.
ALMOST on the bicycle (I had just walked into the mall 30 seconds earlier).
Teaching English lessons x3.
Eating dinner with friends x2 (and having to run into a stranger's house to get to the bomb shelter).
Talking to Yagel on the phone while here in the States.
Cooking dinner.
Fixing breakfast.
Writing my grad school finals.
Reading the news.
Crying.
Semi-naked.
Sitting at a cafe, having coffee.
Showing pictures from a recent trip.
Looking for keys to unlock the door.
This list is rather endless. It could be a list of just everyday activities, and that's what is so shocking. These everyday activities were interrupted by rocket fire, by panicked running, throwing on clothes or towels, by constantly WAITING for the next one. Why does my everyday have to be like this? Why is it acceptable? Why do my students have to run, wide-eyed, into the bomb shelter while I'm teaching them English? Why did I have to see a picture of one of my best friends shielding her children with her body on a bus while trying to go to the zoo out of the city just to get some normalcy? Why do I have to read the exhausted and pained messages and status updates from those I love? Why do I have to worry constantly about dear ones fighting in Gaza?
All of this over a terror organization that has taken the region hostage. An organization who wants to kill ME. An organization that wants to kill its own citizens. An organization that calls for the annihilation of an entire country and people. So, wake up, world. This is happening.
I'm just counting the days until my sweetheart will be in the States with me. But, our friends and family will still be there weathering the storm. And a piece of our hearts will be there with them. I know mine is now. My sleep-deprived, traumatized self. Maybe I'll rest better when this nightmare is over, since, it seems, even being 6500 miles away from the front lines hasn't totally helped. Wishing strength and quiet for all Am Yisrael. Endurance and safety for our brave soldiers. And freedom of Gaza from Hamas. Amen.
