Presenting, "The Stages of Rocket Shock"

Since I had plenty of time to think of this, I have developed a well thought-out theory of "The Stages of Rocket Shock" which many of us experienced this past week.  Just so you all can know what it's like to endure a rocket attack without actually enduring it.  :-)  You're welcome.

Stage 1:  Fear and Terror

This is the first shocking introduction to life in a war zone.  Air raid sirens, explosions, and pure adrenaline punctuate this stage.  For instance, when I was outside, terror ran through my veins, and only adrenaline kept me moving, otherwise I would have been paralyzed.  Which can also be a facet of this stage, if you're lucky enough for this to happen to you.  (Ohhhh the cynicism just bleeds through my words.)  Which leads us to...

Stage 2:  Anger

Once you've caught your breath from running and the initial shock of the situation, anger sets in.  I was angry at Hamas, angry at the sirens, and hell, angry at the rockets themselves.  If you follow me on Facebook, this is about the time I started posting endlessly about the war.  So, my anger manifested itself in the need to promote the reality of the situation in which I was stuck.  I was so horrifically angry that I wanted everyone and their grandmother to know about it.  I hope my screams were heard from here in Be'er Sheva.

Stage 3:  Numbness

Perhaps it's the lack of sleep.  Or just becoming habituated to the constant sirens and constant level of alertness that your body takes on from constantly monitoring the deteriorating situation (constantly).  I got to a state where I would wake up from my shallow sleep to the sirens, look to see that the bomb shelter door was still closed, send a message to my friends that I was alive, and then turn over to go back to a faux sleep that became so familiar.  Eh, this was reality, and I just started moving about these hours like a zombie.  I believe I also forgot to eat and shower during this stage.

Stage 4:  Panic...because you were numb.

Holy SHIT!  You snap out of being numb and panic because you weren't at all phased by the huge string of rocket attacks that you're just now realizing you went through.  WHAT WAS I THINKING? was the first of such huge thoughts that came to me when I "came to."  I also curled up on my bed, cried, and questioned my good judgement to move to Israel during this stage (which I'm happy to report has subsided because, damn, I love it here).  There was some hyperventilating, some sobbing, some constant jabbermouth, if that's even a word, because I talked high-speed and non-stop while processing this panic.

Stage 5:  Cynicism, where you're stuck for eternity.

Then, you just throw your hands up in the air (like you just don't care), and you start making jokes about it the whole thing.  In Hebrew, they say that you "have a scratch" to say that something has really affected you.  Everyone's got their own scratch, and it brings about different things in different people.  The ones I love the most are rather cynical about most everything now, and that's also where I am.  Sunny, positive outlook?  Eh, it's still there but buried pretty deep at this point.  Also, if you can't laugh, whether it's dark humor or otherwise, these situations will, indeed, kill you.

Ahhhhhh, you've now passed all the stages of rocket shock and are READY for the next bombardment.  Since we all know there will be one...damn cynicism.  ;-)  Until next time...we're almost done with this war story, can you believe it?  Me either.