Lost in Translation

I'm in the mood to write today (it's a good way to avoid Passover cleaning...which has to finished TODAY...ugh), and I wanted to share with you some of the language/identity issues that I've been having because, well, they're humorous.

• I was with my best friend's parents eating dinner before his concert in Tel Aviv this week.  They're Russian and don't speak English so well, so we were speaking in Hebrew, and I was trying to explain Arkansas weather to his mom.  I wanted to tell her that we have more ice than snow when suddenly, I forgot the word for snow in Hebrew.  But, I remembered it in Russian.  Who does that?

• I was writing a text message to a friend after my written exam for my Hebrew classes, and I wrote that I thought I would receive a good grade.  However, I spelled "grade" wrong, just one letter off, and I wrote that I thought I would receive a "good fuck."  Ohhhhhh.

• Everyone constantly makes fun of my accent in Hebrew because I sound so American.  However, people constantly mistake me for being Russian.  One odd time, I was mistaken for a Moroccan.  I'm also pretty consistently known as the "blondini" even though I'm not exactly blonde.  Identity crisis!

• I don't remember English anymore, and I make really stupid mistakes when I'm writing and speaking.  I recently wrote, "We our invited to a party," and "There is food there?"  I've also been making the horrid mistake of confusing their/they're/there, your/you're, and its/it's.  G-d, help me.

• I accidentally said "in the ass" last night at dinner.  Since that word is really close to the word for "underneath."  Crazy friggin' language.

I'm sure there will be more to come as I am starting my new job tomorrow where I will have to speak Hebrew all the time.  I'm nervous, but I'm sure it'll provide y'all with loads of laughs!