The Perils of an Israeli Cyclist

Somehow, I got this idea that I wanted to cycle my way around Be'er Sheva instead of spending my money on a bus pass and on costly taxi rides.  So, for my birthday, I bought myself a shiny pink bicycle with a basket and a rack on the back.  I'll tell you, my body is mighty happy at this decision as I'm watching the weight just slide off and as my legs are getting strong enough to kill a man.  My wallet is also happy, and I love the feeling of independence that it brings.  There are drawbacks, however, and I'm ready to rant about them. 

Here is my gorgeous bike, decorated for Israeli Independence Day.

 

My major beef is with pedestrians.  I don't think people realize how stupidly they walk when strolling down a sidewalk.  People don't walk in straight lines and are very unpredictable.  They also prefer to walk directly in the middle of the sidewalk, regardless of how narrow or wide it may be.  Now, I know that a lot of you will say, "But you shouldn't be riding your bike on the sidewalk."  First of all, there is plenty of room to share the way.  Second, if I didn't ride on the sidewalk, you would all be reading my obituary because I would already be dead from Israeli drivers.  And third, my city is full of bikes, and bike paths are slowly being built - I just see at as I'm using these paths before they're ready.  ;)

 

Okay, pedestrians.  Their unpredictability and their sporadic behavior makes life for us cyclists a nightmare.  I have this adorable bell on my bicycle which is really only effective at scaring cats and birds out of my way.  I find myself ringing this bell ad nauseum, followed by my exasperated pleas of "slicha!" or "excuse me!"  Lastly, I do my best to "think skinny" on the bike and squeeze past these ridiculous pedestrians, much to their panic as they realize I'm there (not like I wasn't making enough noise earlier).  This exchange then ends in me saying something smartass and giving them an annoyed glare.  So Israeli of me.

 

Now, there are some pedestrians who are worse than others.  Let me say, you would be surprised at how much room a little old lady can take up on a sidewalk.  I hate ringing my bell at them because I don't want to scare them, so I typically proceed with great caution.  Somehow, though, they always end up exactly in my way, moving with me as I try to pass.  It's like they know...

 

The second, and arguably most annoying, group needs some explanation.  If you're Israeli, you know exactly the stereotype of arsim and frechot.  For those who don't, I've found this hysterical video that explains the arsim stereotype, with a short cameo of who frechot are.  Watch it before continuing.

 





Warning, I'm about to feed into a stereotype A LOT.  Just be aware.  So basically, you have these overly masculine, arrogant, slightly ignorant men, or arsim and these overly made-up, high pitched air heads who make up the female counterpart, or frechot.  They typically travel in groups, too, which makes them even more dangerous.  They knowingly won't move for a bicycle, and I've gotten very close to flattening a few over the past few weeks.  The trick is to not give up your space and just keep going.  It's like a constant game of chicken, wondering who's going to give in and move first.  Thank goodness, the sheer heft on my bike gives me a significant advantage.  I'm not gonna lie - I've considered making a game out of it and assigning points based on just how stereotypical my opponents are and how hard they are to get out of my way.  I'm sure I'm getting a reputation as "that bitchy blonde girl on the bike."

 

Also, when you're on a bike, and I guess just in general in Israeli life, people really feel the need to give you their opinions about things, especially YOUR things.  The most poignant example just happened to me yesterday.  I was stopped at a stoplight, waiting to cross, and this taxi pulled into the turn lane with his window down because it was a GORGEOUS day.  He promptly started talking to me and lecturing me on how I need to wear sunscreen if I'm going to be riding my bicycle around in the desert.  I mean, I realize that I'm eggshell white, and it didn't help that I was wearing a dress with biking shorts underneath, exposing my transparent legs, but seriously?  Also, guys think that if they compliment on how cute my bike is that I'll actually stop and talk to them.  What, you've never seen a cute American in a dress on a bicycle before?  Sometimes in heels, I might add.  :) 

 

And those are my current rants of being an Israeli cyclist.  Amateur for sure, but I'm loving every minute of it.  So, I need to go put on sunscreen and get ready for my next adventure.  Until next time!